I set this to send to myself in October. I picked this deadline because its the beginning of the school year and I’ve decided to use this summer to get reoriented in time to tackle the next year head-on.
dear Amanda Michelle,
GIRL. yes, you have done the damn thang. give yourself credit and celebrate: life ain’t been no crystal stair, but you keep on climbing.
you have managed to complete two full years of doctoral studies without quitting or cursing anyone out. given the drama you’ve experienced along this journey, that is an amazing feat. but it’s not all! you did all this while discovering and dealing with a strange, chronic illness that should have laid you flat on your ass. not to mention surviving getting hit by a truck in the midst of it all, too. who DOES that? apparently you do.
on top of all this, you have determined your pathway through the politics of academia and the logistics of your research goals, despite being told to quit on multiple occasions. you have a both a field placement and a research assistantship that you love. you also have a solid start to your dissertation committee – in the form of an advisor who encourages you, challenges you, supports you, and respectfully pulls your coattails as needed.
financially, you have identified multiple potential funding sources and have a solid plan for submitting applications to each. in the meantime, you are making connections to helpful people and organizations that will lead to further support.
on the home front, your new apartment is fabulous, in financial accessibility, convenience to the things you need, and all the creature comforts that will support your pursuit of self-care. speaking of which, you have that down pat! not only have you continued to do your daily sun salutations, but your back in the pool at least three times a week, in addition to biking regularly. that extra 20 pounds is melting off steadily! you have also identified several possible non-drug & hospital happy therapists who you can afford to see, despite the lack of insurance coverage for mental health services.
all this is great news, since you’ve got a plan to raise funds for this next surgery you’re having at the end of the year. furthermore, in preparation, you’ve got a great hematologist who has helped you get to the bottom of the mystery bleeding disorder that interrupted the last surgery. you’re also on a medication regimen that works for your sensitive system while minimizing risky side effects and, of course, doesn’t break your bank.
not only is your body on the mend but so is your heart, as you have come to terms with your recent breakup. you have figured out your “pattern”, let it go, defined what you really want, and are truly open to receiving -and able to recognize- the love blessings the universe chooses to bestow upon you. in addition, you have established a meaningful social life that works for your schedule and has developed some key associations into real friendships.
furthermore, you have reconnected with those family members who you wanted to keep up with, but fell out of touch since school started. also, you & mama j finally understand each other as adults & are having tons more fun! \o/
your patience & tenacity are paying off and things are looking up, love!
so about today’s title…
I love this song for so many reasons. interestingly, Hermione is the feminine derivative of Hermes, AKA Mercury, my ruling planet. the universe got jokes. I hear her, though. well, at least I’m trying to…